I’m Glad my Mom Died

A bold and heartbreaking memoir

I knew of Jennette McCurdy because I’m a mom who has kids that watched iCarly and Sam and Cat. I heard about her memoir when she was a guest promoting it on a podcast. I was interested, but not overly eager to pick it up. Then last week while scrolling BookTok I saw her book, “I’m Glad My Mom Died” as a book a creator loved, so I put it in my audiobook queue. I’m glad I did.

Before I get into any of it, this book needs a trigger warning. If there are any readers who may be triggered on topics such as emotional/psychological abuse or eating disorders, please know that this book may not be for you. 

Jennette is telling her story from the outside looking in. As a person who was once stuck in a bubble of ignorance, who only after the death of her mother was able to burst that bubble open and realize that her relationship with her mother was clouded with a lifetime of abuse. This is not a story about hating her mother, there is love there. But it’s a conditional love, one that did damage, and one that shall always come with a disclaimer attached.

I listened to this book as I listen to all audiobooks, while working, cleaning, being productive in other ways while also taking in the story. But this one often made me stop. I couldn’t take in some of her words while simultaneously folding laundry. I needed to stop and hold space for her and often wished I could reach my hands in through the headphones and somehow give her a hug, to let her know I hear her.

The audiobook was read by the author and I’m so very glad that decision was made. In fact, my favorite moment in the book was the chapter where Jennette, sitting in therapy, came to the realization that she had, in fact, endured abuse. Jennette cried while reading that passage. I couldn’t help but feel like some producers would have had her collect herself and try the passage again, this time without the emotion. I’m so glad this producer kept that take. In a way it broke a wall between the reader and the listener. That we could be brought into the pain not only with the words she had written but by her delivery. It was brave and I wish I could thank her for her vulnerability.

I want people to read this book so that we can all have a better understanding that abuse comes in all forms, not just a punch in the face or an unwanted sexual encounter. The words we use with one another matter, our actions matter, all of it matters. And we all deserve to live in a world where we can live autonomous lives free from manipulation from those around us.

Jennette, I love you. Thank you for your words. You will help so many people.